If you know me, you know I have a guilty pleasure watching Chris Harrison's version of SAW; yes, that's right, The Bachelor franchise
Becca Kufrin's season on the Bachelorette
has been super exciting. There was that time they had a guy who looked like Wells Adams. And that time the guy in the tracksuit almost fell asleep standing up
. Then, you know you loved when they sent the uber-tweetable villains home too early. And oh man, how could you forget that other guy who looked like Wells Adams.
My face this entire super-exciting season.
Between all these super stimulating conversations, and wondering if the show is running out of money (Virginia? Really? No offense Virginia, but by this time last season it was France) I’m sure you barely have room in your life for more excitement. However, if you do, we have amassed quite the collection for you. Hold onto your
hats: here are six books even more exciting than this season on the Bachelorette.
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky:
If you like watching 29 trapped in a mansion together slowly go mad, you’ll love one Russian man very slowly
going mad while trapped in his apartment and/or mind. Bonus: my high school English teacher had a theory that if you read the book quickly enough, it will also cause the reader to go mad. Do you think it’s the same if you binge the whole season in one sitting?
Walden by Henry David Thoreau:
A man walks into the woods. Then he builds a house and sort of just sits around for two years. This wasn’t a punchline gone wrong, it’s a summary of what you’ll experience if when you read Walden
. But as a member of Bachelor Nation, we are clearly fans of watching people sit around and then having deeply profound thoughts due to the sitting around, so you’ll be a fan of this.
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck:
You’re going to love this. It’s full of people making poor choices, regrettable mistakes, and an ending that will make you go, “Wait. What????” If you watched Arie’s season of the Bachelor
, this is right up your alley.
Civil Procedure: Doctrine, Practice, and Content by :
This book is just like the Bachelor
. It’s a little confusing, probably overly complicated, and my friend in law school loves it.
The Book of Numbers:
Yes, as in from the Bible. It’s a very exciting chapter. It’s full of counting stuff. Counting Israelites. Counting Levites. Guess what else it has? Counting counting counting. It’s almost as exciting as that time we as Bachelor Nation got to watch two camels avoid each other.
The Catcher in The Rye by J.D. Salinger:
“You remember I said before that Ackley was a slob in his personal habits? Well, so was Stradlater, but in a different way. Stradlater was more of a secret slob. He always looked all right, Stradlater, but for instance, you should've seen the razor he shaved himself with. It was always rusty and full of lather and hairs and crap. He never cleaned it or anything. He always looked good when he was finished fixing himself up, but he was a secret slob anyway, if you knew him the way I did.”
Can't you imagine Jordan yelling this during a confession cam session? Believe it or not, this is Holden Caulfield, complaining about everything. We know you love listening to people complain and demean each other. This is the book for you.
There you have it, folks. Between commercial breaks and during those long pauses where Chris Harrison is just staring at a contestant on this season on the Bachelorette
, you could pick up one of these books. Honestly, if you start one at the beginning of Men Tell All,
you'll probably finish it before the special ends. Let us know.
If you enjoyed this, please check out:
10 Spooky Things (Including True Crime Books!) For You
Books for a Solo Vacation
Books to Give Boys Who Aren't Getting the Hint