Ah, summertime. The time of year when people pull out their sunscreen, shorts....and GRILLS. I’m not sure about you, but I always get mixed feelings about the summer grilling season. I love the juicy, delicious meat and grilled veggies that come off of the grill—but the whole process of actually grilling terrifies me. I mean, is this the year I learn how to turn on a gas grill?
Where does this hose go on this scary tank with large "WARNING: YOU MAY EXPLODE AND DIE" labels? Which knobs do I turn?
Why does it smell like gas but nothing is happening?
Will my eyebrows still be attached to my face after this? (Spoiler alert: I still have eyebrows.)
It’s a nightmare. Many a grill master
will tell you this is an easy process. My boyfriend tried to say the same to me. But let me tell you...that’s not so for some of us.
And although grilling may be winding down now (although who am I kidding, in the South it’s still going to be hot and humid for months to come), I thought I’d share my summer grilling experience with you so you can learn from my mistakes
and be a triumphant spatula-wielding wizard.
Are you ready to become a summer grilling master? Here's how you do it:
STEP ONE: How to turn on a gas rrill
First of all, lighting the grill. Don’t be fooled, learning how to turn on a gas grill is not just pushing a button. On this gas grill I was using, it involved twisting the gas knobs, and then pushing the ignitor button 5,552 times until it finally lit. Then it became clear this could turn into a Smoky the Bear situation. So, I ended up having to call in reinforcements as the smell of gas engulfed me on the patio.
He was right. Only I can prevent forest fires.
STEP TWO: Start cooking food
Place delicious food items on the grill. In this case, I was making sausages. Not super fancy (and yes, they were cut up and put into Mac n’ cheese, because I'm an ADULT), but still deliciously smoky! Just place those puppies on the grill, stand back, and be amazed at your brilliant grilling skills. You're doing great. You're the Gordon Ramsey of grills.
STEP THREE: Turn food
Turn the meat as it cooks, to make sure it’s cooked evenly. Now, if you thought getting the grill to turn on was hard, just you wait. This part is tricky as all get out, because it’s a lot of guessing and relying on visual cues. You feel like your best bet is to ask them questions. "Sausage, do you feel fully cooked?" you ask. Out loud. Was that because of the smoke inhalation? Is this a normal part of summer grilling? Let's go with yes.
STEP FOUR: Wound care
Just when everything is going so well, something might happen. Something you've heard about in dark stories during the night, but you never dreamed it could really happen, could happen to you. You might get....
You may not be able to see it well, but I successfully burned my hand trying to wield my tongs to turn the sausages. Not my most amazing feat, let me tell you.
STEP FIVE: Remove food
After grilling and spinning and grilling and rolling and grilling and occasionally crying either from the smoke or the burn, we're unsure, you'll be done. Meat: cooked. Tummy: ready. Ego: checked.
But anyways, that it’s! A simple grilling breakdown, from a far-from-masterful grill master. You’ll end up with some kind of delicious looking meat. Here’s my final product (minus the macaroni, sorry):
Now, if you felt like that little summer grilling tutorial wasn’t quite what you were looking for
or you doubted my grilling prowess
, then might I suggest this cookbook that provides great grilling tips, tricks, and recipes? Cookin' it with Kix.
is a game-changer. Unlike myself, Kix knows how to turn on a gas grill and has used a grill (probably even fancy charcoal) more than one time. In fact, this man sometimes digs a hole, builds a fire, and cooks on the spot! WHAT! If you're ready to be a grill master and
make your own pimento cheese (actual heaven), step right up.
Eager for more of Laura's adventures? Don't miss her Page Chaser post on the time she tried fasting!
Hungry yet? Here are more our our Page Chaser posts on food:
BOOK QUIZ: Pick some food, Get a Cookbook
The Final and Absolute Ranking of French Fry Styles
Laura is an active friend to the Page Chaser team and enjoys thrillers on Netflix and arguing the merits of Belgium over France. If you want to follow Laura, check her out on the Page Chaser Instagram, Facebook, or wondering why she ever left warm California for freezing Tennessee.